Influenced.

throughout your life, people will naturally be shaped and moulded to fit exactly into, or rebel against, everything around them. there are those who enjoy being average and normal, and you do find those who want nothing to do with those around them, who either dream of something more or cannot accept themselves to be of the same ilk as those that surround them. whatever your case may be, i have came to the conclusion that there is one defining factor in everyones life that will have,without fail, encouraged the development of a person's character into who they are now. this factor can be attributed to how a person feels/wants to feel at any given moment, in that this factor can influence a person to such an extent. this factor, is music. music can unite everyone together, should the song and the beat symbolise something everyone can relate too. but its the music that people can relate to on a personal level that attracts me most. music where every word in every lyric means something to you, and talks about something you have yourself experieced or are experiencing. this music is the solitary kind that a person listens to when in a time of need, when someone doesnt always want to be cheered up but to live through the motions of a time of difficulty, where perhaps you feel things will not change reguardless of how you feel, and as a result talk yourslef into beliving you can only benefit from hurting yourself more by connecting to the music. there is,ofcourse, the music where the only connection made is positive, where the lyrics inspire you and give you that something else to drive towards anything and everything else.the kind of music that give you enough courage to try something youve always wanted to try, to do something youve always wanted to do, irreguardless of anything that happens as a result of these actions because in that moment, everything seems worth it.
but the music that unintentially captures me most, is the kind that upon hearing it, instantly throws your mind back to another location, time or person. the kind that makes you smile as you look back in nostalgia because you realise everything that the song now represents to you now, and for the most part perhaps always will, is everything that you would have wanted it too during that period in your life. and even if you diddnt ask it too, it now helps to embriod that time as something you can never hope to forget. it hurts when it makes you miss that time.
music can mean everything to some, and nothing to others. all i can say, is that i genuenly belive myself to have evolved and became the person i am now because of the music i have always had in my life, reguardless of the way my taste in music has changed, it has only done so because i allowed it too. as i move into different chapters of my life it is important to have something you can have with you as something of a comfort and can return to in times of hardship and change. music means everything to me, and it always will.

Evolution

although we would probably like to, precious little of us can genunely remember what i define as one of the first moments of valid great significance in our lives to date; our first day at high school. this was the year where we returned to be the bottom of the food chain, remembering how it feels to have such little power within the school community, and where the external pressures that came from building a reputation and then being jugded by others for choosing such a social path originated from. when first year came, i was a geek. without the brains..a nerd perhaps? anyway, this was the path i chose, because it was who i was. i diddnt become a 'chav' or a 'mosher', namely because i couldnt pull it off with conviction, or know anyone well enough to become one, but mostly because it wasnt me. i diddnt want to smash windows.i diddnt want to have to drink and smoke. i diddnt like not showering. and i liked to spike my hair how i chose. granted chosing to be myself diddnt reek the benifits that being a chav had-ie social connections, the ability to tuck my trackies in to my socks and look cool- or that being a mosher had-ie vast musical knowlage, the ability to skate without looking like a prat- but what it did was allow me to enjoy my first year at school. i had my best friends. i enjoyed playing fantasy games and watching cartoons without being judged by those around me. first year was bliss.
Second year wasnt a monumental year for me, nothing new and exciting happened, although it was the year that those god-awful-emotion-stirring- demon-possesed creatures crawled into my life. such creatures, went by the name of 'girls'. ofcourse i loved my women dearly at the time- they offered me ever so slightly increased social significance, something pleasent to look at, genuen companionship- and to me, this idea of having both female and male friends was a wonderful thought. unfortuantly, it turns out women dont really go for all the geeks. who knew?!. at this point, i made the choice to slowly migrate into the vag, and away from the spongebob and secret power ranger obbsession that were to be found in the homes of patty and jamie mac. third year came, and this was a big yin of a year. this was the year things changed big time.
Entering third year i was still in that lovey dovey honeymoon stage in my realtionship with jennii bbz x and found myself to again migrate clans. one tommy reid offered me the chance to venture down fraz ave with him at lunch one day, an offer i warrily accepted. you must understand, to us, the geeks, fraz ave was a place of disrespectful wonder. many a horrid tale had been told about the goings on in such a place, where everyone drank and smoke and had sex, and now I, Kris Reillly, was going to fall under a new title:Kris 'Smilley' Reilly: street holligan and full time chav. only now apon reflectance of this event can i fully understand what this single friendly gesture truely did for me as a person. sure, they accepted me as one of there on( although to this day i dont understand how. i never enjoyed causing pain, i diddnt like the 'friendly' jabs on the arm, i was never seen in fred perry clothing, i never drank, or smoke, or had sex out doors) and from that point on, i gained a new characteristics to add to my arsnal:confidence, verging on cockiness, and the ability to flash my pactrik socks with pride. now i expected people below me to think twice before speaking to me ie, geeks, and most certainly moshers. at this is a horrible thought. surely hanging with a differnt crown shouldnt have changed my outlook on school-and people in general- to such a durastic extent that i felt i was above others i used to mingle amongst?
Fourth year again offered a change of shell for me, as i now moved into a group i truley felt i belong in. dont get me wrong, the other shell and groups i undertook made me what i am today, and helped me navigate to this group, or 'the team' as they are affectionattly know. this offered a group where geeks, moshers and chavs mingled alike, and grew up together to the extent that we now dont need a title, and no one judges us for it because know one cares anymore. i had the chance to rekindle my old roots, ie reunite with the j-bizzle, and even found someone below patty- pj! granted my first singnificant action in the group was effectively end a relationship-sorry amy, guy- but i had never felt so laid back and comfortable around a group of people in my life.
Fifth year. the newly single kris reilly fell into a year where people around him truely matured, and as a result stronger bonds were made. sure, the school work has been as hard as ive ever known, but the friendship i have been built have been something else. i have now, for instance, an asian female best friend, a man whom i address formallyat the start of every conversation with as 'sharks' and a girl i enjoy mild penetration with daily who looks like a penguin. such a group of people could have never got together in first year, as such people have evolved in the same way as i to arrive in the team i do now. pingu, for example, was in first and second year, a ragin alchy and had that irrisistable rebelious rosyther look to her. now? she is a paranoid cleaniness freek who recently died herself brown.
i can honestly say that this evolution- from the scaired first year who wanted nothing more to then to keep his head down and not fall victim to a 'whirly', to commiting to my first serious relationship and becoming a chav on the rough street of 'divit', to now wanting nothing more to just enjoy my friends company, make them laugh, and play a game of our wonderfully contraversal cuppy- has been although difficult and joyous simultaniously, a simply unforgetable and unforgiveable affair to which i can express nothing but happiness. happiness that it has got me to where i am today, and that people in my life are the ones i truely want there, and that i am now the person i truely want to be. sort of.

Women

you cant live with them, you cant live with out them. or so the saying goes. i am to the belief that to live with them, each women must serve a different service within your life. a service can include a best friend, a enemy, a novelty or a sexual interest. when these services begin to overlap, here in lies a problem, and it is then that mans ability to 'live with them' comes into danger. as a man, there is nothing worst then a sexual interest filing you away in that god forbidden hell hole that can be the 'friend zone', a place were you are left to rot, unable to act apon feelings, and often impossible to break to seal and change the way in which they look at you.experience can teach that having changed such a view, the benifits dont always match expections and one can soon realise having them in your life, even as a friend, is the most important thing you can hope for, and having them in your life in a friend capasity is so much more important than not having them in your life at all.
should the 'best friend' turn into an enemy, all hell can let loose. man knows he has done wrong when such a friend throws a fist at you for having commited a totally selfish deed, and not having contimplated the friends feelings in the slightest. sure, the man can be arrogant, unable to admit he has done wrong, but the minute the friend is gone, man feels the extent of her rath alright. and it hits home hard. asking forgivness isnt always enough, and sometimes these things dont just fix themselves. however, over time woman can look past this error, and although they may not rekindle there 'best' friends status, it is still nice to know they are again there for you, and that trusting bond can never be broken, not once you share everything about you with them.
evolution from friend to best friend is a wonderful process though, isnt it? that moment when you realise all the time you spend together, the enjoyment you get from being with them yet being able to look past all artificial and steriotypical feelings of lust and finding that bond between two people that is totally and utterly unique to anything else man can feel is something that shouldnt be overlooked.such a process can be fromed from walking home during the long summer days, in that period of time when it really is only you and them, opening up about everything you are and everything you want to be, and knowing they are listning and they do care about everything you have to say. but for me, a friendship is truely justified in 3 ways. one such way, is the ability to hold a phonecall with them, without having to prepare topics of conversation, and happilily lie in bed, laughing and smiling at what they want to say, only truely hanging up when you have to and being able to look at the phone after, and realise how much time has passed when on the phone, then smiling. smiling because you realise that you would have genunely not wanted to have been doing anything else in that time you spent in there thoughts. the second way of justifiying a friendship, is your ability to spend time with just them and feel more comfortable around them than almost anyone else, and look forward to the plans you have made with them just because it means more time with them. and the third justification? this comes inspired from the wise words of Ms S.Reilly: 'you always know if your someones friend, when you are comfortable enough around them to enjoy eachother silence'. this is the total truth, and she really couldnt have said it any better
this has been a lengthy blog, and i apoligise should i have babbled on. however, i feel i must finish with the last oppion man can see in a women:a novelty aspect. this occurs when a man finds someone of utter comedic value that seeing them, on that less than often meeting, bring a smile to your face and you intantly become in a good mood. this ofcourse is my pingu, Laura Stewart. my very own 4 foot urdu penguin who i cant help but abuse, and mentally damange in the honestly lightest sense of the term. she really is something else.shes a rosyther.

Introduction To Reilly

Well. i feel that before deciding the inevitable(whether or not you, the reader, shall continue to read my blogs/ "follow"me), i should truely inform you what you shall be in for, in a totally bias and selfish view of myself,from myself. my name is kris reilly. i am a guy who can rarely see past my own fault, a man who will without fail look to benifit myself before others and thus am often selfish. however this doesnt bother me. i want what is best for me, and cant see why i should think in any other manner. i have a close group of friends which i adore, all of them for different yet indifferent reasons. and i am in the privialged position to have those who genunely care for me to, who can look past my flaws and continue to spend time with me, and as a result i can truely appreciate them for who they are also. granted i also have those close to me who i KNOW have talked about me behind my back, but this doesnt bother me either. just informs me of those who i can genunely trust with anything, and such great trust i can only truely hold with one person, who i can tell anything to and know without fail they wont judge me or change how they look at me as a result. enter the best friend. they are a person who is a truely beautiful person, and i feel genuenly lucky to have by my side. this is not to say i dont appreciate those who do talk about me, and they are not anyless of a friend in my eyes, just not ones i can admit to always feeling totally comfortable telling my every thought to. now back to me. it has become truely apparent recently that those who do not know me, but know of me, take a less than faverable oppinion of me. recent graffitti i saw suggesting this oppion highlighted this, but also how even has we 'mature', returning to play ground methods of phsycological warefare can still be as effective as anything else one person can express toward another. now i am not here to bitch about those who do not like me, because frankly if they havent given me the time of day to at least speak to me before creating an oppion of me, i cant honestly say that they appeal to me as anone i would want in my life in any other capasity,than just those whom cant look past my flaws, and as a result cant really ride the full kris reilly experience.
there loss,in my oppinon.